Interview Your Grandparents: 40 Questions About Family History

Almost every family has stories that exist for exactly one generation. If you don't record them, they are completely lost – usually without realizing how much was there. A two-hour conversation is enough to capture the most important parts.

Preparation

Announce the conversation instead of asking spontaneously. Many older people consider their lives uninteresting and need a moment to adjust to the role. One sentence is enough: "I'd like to write down what it was like back then – would you have time for that next week?"

Record the conversation. A phone with a dictation function is perfectly sufficient. Writing notes interrupts the flow of narration, and you lose the voice – which is often worth more than the content later on.

The 40 Questions

Childhood and Origin

1. Where did you grow up and what was it like there?
2. What was your home like?
3. What did you love to play most as a child?
4. Who were your friends?
5. What was school like?
6. What was there to eat when it was something special?
7. What do you remember when you hear the word Christmas?
8. What chores did you have at home?
9. What were you afraid of?
10. What was your best childhood moment?

Parents and Family

1. What were your parents like as people?
2. What did you learn from them?
3. What did you want to do differently?
4. What do you know about your grandparents?
5. Were there stories that were always told in the family?
6. Which objects have been passed down in the family?
7. How did you argue in your family?
8. How was affection shown?

Youth and Early Adulthood

1. What did you want to be?
2. What was your first day at work like?
3. What did you do with the first money you earned yourself?
4. What was the music like back then?
5. What was your first own room or apartment?
6. What decision changed your life?
7. What was the craziest thing you ever did?

Love and Partnership

1. How did you meet?
2. What did you think at first?
3. What was your wedding like?
4. What was your most difficult time together?
5. What keeps a marriage together?
6. What would you tell young couples today?

Retrospection

1. What was the biggest change you experienced?
2. What are you proud of?
3. What do you regret?
4. What did you learn late in life?
5. What was the hardest time of your life?
6. What helped you through it?
7. What do you know about happiness today?
8. What do you want us not to forget?
9. Is there anything you've never told anyone?

How to Conduct the Conversation

• Don't go through all the questions. Ten to fifteen per session are enough. Better two conversations than one ending in exhaustion.
• Ask follow-up questions instead of jumping ahead. The second follow-up question almost always yields more than the next question.
• Tolerate pauses. Silence usually means something is being searched for.
• Lay out photos. Old pictures unlock memories that no question can reach.
• Don't force difficult topics. If someone changes the subject, accept it – it often comes up on its own later.

What to Do With It Afterward

An audio file alone is rarely listened to again. What works: type out the most important answers, combine them with old photos, and print them. In this form, it becomes something the whole family reads – and a gift that goes back to the grandparents themselves. A personalized magazine is well suited for this, as text and pictures can be alternated.

Additionally, secure the original recording in two places. It is irreplaceable.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if someone doesn't want to tell their story?

Start with concrete things – a photo, an object, a place. Open-ended life questions seem too big for many.

How long should a conversation last?

60 to 90 minutes. After that, most people's concentration significantly decreases.

Should you record video?

Video has a stronger impact later, but makes many people more inhibited. When in doubt, use audio – the inhibition threshold is significantly lower.